Limps Pimp Page

I was born in the good country of schveden my first name being svenski. I always had a hard life because of my father who made outragous claims like he invented the question mark. I moved on in life and put my past behind me and moved to russia thats where im from kiddo's. There i became a schvetty russian shockputer. You may have seen me at the common wealth. Well after a few years the shockputting buisness wasnt going so good so I moved to merry old england. There i joined North Kestiven School of Performing Arts which was full of crap but i thought id chil their for a while to i found out my next plan. I came to school on the first day with nothing but a leaf covering up my genitalia. The children laughed at me and bullied me they called me such names as "Crazy Feet" and "the abominable scott man". Scarred for life and all alone I turned to the only thing keeping me alive everymorning.........Scott's porridge Oats (the true taste of Scotland). I returned to the school where i had been betrayed and beaten. Again the children oh so many children attacked me they poked me unto i was barely alive. I still remember all those fingers poking me the horror ......... After several years of plastic surgeory i waxed my back, shaved my feet and bought myself a brothel. I returned to school and told the people that had hurt me "shut up or you'll wake up tomorrow with a bullet in your head" the people that had once poked me to near death cowered in fear as i strolled down the road. In some cases i had been known to cut off peoples testicles and place them in vinegar. I continued my education and learned many new skills such as bird spotting and I wore my first chinese willy warmer. So now i had been a successful shockputter, gangsta and i owned a brothel. With so many behotches on me tip I had to do something. I started the Pacey Mafia a crime syndicate running all the way from toko japan to my home town of Schveden. I set up the "pimp lounge" at North Kesteven School of Performing arts behind the goal posts at North Kesteven School of Performing arts. Where the male hoes such as myself could chill with a bottle of bud and all the bitches on the field.